I got some really interesting comments on the last post, including one from my friend Raven who introduced me to positive psychology. According to the website, our current focus on psychological problems means that "psychology has little to say about what makes life most worth living. Positive psychology proposes to correct this imbalance by focusing on strengths as well as weaknesses, on building the best things in life as well as repairing the worst." That's a pretty neat idea. There's all these different character tests this group offers, so I think I'm going to try some out and see what I learn. If you do the same, let me know how it goes.
In the meantime, I've been thinking about what to do when I fail in my negativity fast, which I most certainly will and already have. The point is not to be perfect in your fasting, I don't think, but just to be more deliberate about it. So when I slip up, what do I do? Do I apologize? (To myself? To the Universe?) Do I repeat a little mantra, a prayer if you will, to remotivate and get me back on track? Do I immediately try to think a positive thought to counter the negative one? (The challenge would be finding something positive about the very thing that made me go negative.) I would love your suggestions. I want my mistakes to be an opportunity for growth, not just a reason to put another quarter in the negative jar.
Day 2 of the negativity fast is going well so far. I successfully avoided complaining to Danny about the hours I laid awake last night, unable to sleep. Although, did I just screw it up by mentioning it here? In any case, by not complaining I was able to get some uninterrupted thinking done about my research, and had a very productive morning as a result! But now I'm very sleepy and Jack is uninterested in being set down. (That is merely a statement of fact and should in no way be construed as a complaint.) But that has given me a chance to practice my one-handed typing! Look at me go! 20 words per minute at least! This post has only taken me 19 minutes! I am a model of efficiency! (I don’t suppose sarcasm counts as positive thinking, does it? Oh well.)
3 comments:
Giving up negativity is a philosophical double-negative and as such is pretty difficult to pin down practically. As a scientist, I am inclined to suggest that you should define what you mean by 'negativity' to allow more robust pursuit of your Lenten fast. :) (My PI likes to use the word 'robust' to describe desirable results.)
For example, I think that acknowledging an honest negative emotion (like exhaustion) is important for mental health, but it's true that dwelling on the negatives is less productive. So it'll be interesting to see how this goes... I've been puzzling over what is acceptably honest and what is just failure of perspective since your post yesterday and have come up with no answers.
Having just spent the entire past three hours being negative, being angry, having a bitch session, and complaining to Chris, I have decided that perhaps feeling negative is not such a bad thing, just lingering on that feeling is. After three hours of being angry I realized that I am just lucky that of everything else that is not going well right now, at least my kids are healthy. And that's what matters. I think what I am trying to say is that it's okay for you to feel negative for a moment, reflect on it, fix the problem, and move on. Perhaps it's the lingering on the negativism that needs the fast. Not the negativism itself?
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